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But at some point brothers have to stop reeling off stats about college and prison, and resolve to be something more. I've met very few (if any) black women who need a lecture on asserting themselves.

We all have a moment, as black people, where we have to stop the process of bemoaning what the world thinks of us, and start asserting that which we think of ourselves. Which is why I find this constant "plight of the black woman" bit bewildering.

Writing about this has helped me get clearer and clearer on this.

To be blunt--I think people who spend their time stressing about the DNA admixture in other people's relationship need to give some thought to boundaries.

My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.

Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.

I'm a black dude hooked up with a black woman--but I don't sleep with "black people." "Black people" don't pay half of my rent.

"Black people" didn't take my son to tennis lessons this week.

Wealthy individuals are looking for a beautiful partner to share their wealth, decadence and financial harvest.

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy.

He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman.

They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a bad idea to blow the rent-check on school clothes.

They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a priority to keep the living room clean.

It's totally out of whack with what I see/hear in my daily interactions.