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You’ll see widowers who date months or even weeks after their wife dies.
It’s like they go out there and say, ‘Oh, you’re pretty. ’ They end up getting into relationships they aren’t ready for.” Keogh shares this insight not just from talking to thousands of women over email and through the private Facebook group he runs, Dating a Widower, but also from personal experience.
As a human, you want to show compassion and sensitivity, she explains.
But as a romantic partner, you don’t want to be making out on the couch while gazing at an urn filled with another woman’s ashes—an object that has been the source of many arguments in their relationship, and even a brief breakup. I don’t want to know what her favorite perfume was.’ I don’t want to live in the shadow of someone else.” Members of the group spoke with Upvoted on basis of anonymity.
Abel Keogh, author of Life with a Widower: Overcoming Unique Challenges and Creating a Fulfilling Relationship, along with other widowhood-focused guidebooks, explains that when a spouse dies, women are much more likely to allow themselves to fully dive into the depths of pain before putting the pieces of their lives back together—and even consider the idea of dating again.
“It’s so easy for people to judge our situations without knowing our whole story,” Lara says. You’re the bad person.” Men and women grieve differently.
“He commented that what he had been through had shaped him,” Lara explains.
“It gave him a greater appreciation for people, for relationships, for life in general.” “We just clicked,” she adds.
“You get to a point where you say, ‘I don’t want to hear anymore,’” she shares. In the community, made of women mostly in their 30s through 60s, they share stories with candor and ease.
One woman was dating a man who kept his first wife’s clothing on a mannequin in the front entry of his home.
“They think their lives are broken and they have this need to go out and fix it,” Keogh says of the recent widowers he’s met or heard stories about.