Dating personals 13 year olds
We're what some might call old fashioned but I've been talking to my daughter about NOT dating too young since she was old enough to understand. But the genitals of a 13 year old, coupled with curiosity and peer pressure... This gave me the perfect opportunity to explain dating, as we, her parents, see it.We want her to grow up and turn into a beautiful young woman who knows herself BEFORE she starts all the dating stuff. I told her that we don't want her dating until she wants to marry.Uh, read the posts about a mom whose 14 year old is pregnant. I wasn't allowed to date until 16 and neither will my girls be.13 is too young, though I was allowed to go on 'group dates' at 14 (but never actually did) Stay strong through the death stares and enjoy the silence while it lasts! I had to laugh about your comment "We are now hated - enduring deaths stares and silence." As a mother of three raised college girls, I had plenty of those stares.From a former middle school teacher, I say wait until 16! Her parents had been dropping her off at the mall and movies with her boyfriend. She flaked on sitting for us New Year's Eve to be with her boyfriend. Your daughter needs to stay busy and not start paring off on dating things.I have a former student, now in 8th grade that I found out is having sex with a 7th grade boy. It's doesn't help that other parents allow this which makes it hard to keep the standard age up where it should be-15-16-ish, imo.
I know a lot of people will say we are old fashioned, but in our area I have seen more pregnant teens in the schools then I care to see and I don't want to have any of my children be either the mother or father in that case! Told her I'm fine with her going in a large groop to the movies (say 5 or 6 people), but 3 or 4 seems to small (3 because, it's just adding someone so she can go on the date, and 4 because then its just a double date).
More important than age is self-esteem, the ability to talk with their parents about any concerns, their ability to say "no" to things they aren't comfortable with, the ability to make good choices when choosing friends. I really don't care if this is a "different time." I'm doing the same for my daughters. I wasn't allowed to "date" until I was 16..even then, one or both of my parents tagged along. My 14 year old neighbor/babysitter talks about nothing but her boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend. She's hardly ever free to sit because she's with her boyfriend's family and away on all their church group's outreach things together.
I say "for" not "to" because I love her and I will survive the inevitable death stares just like my parents did. It is your job to protect her and be her parent, not her best friend. Whenever I come home, there she is right after school until dark with her boyfriend until he wanders home when her parents get home. She's with her boyfriend all day long at school and after school, and I NEVER GO OUT!!! I know the movies is a far cry from this for you daughter, but still, you're right, it's too young.
Maybe you and your husband can sit down and set boundaries for dating since we can't stop our kids from being attracked to boys and liking them, that is so normal, it now what they do with that that matters. I am holding on for dear life, thankfully I will depend on God's guidance and wisdom to get us through.
You sounds like a wonderful Mom, your doing a great job! all the best, Susan I didn't read all the responses, but I thought I'd let you know what we are doing in our household.
I didn't let them date until 16, they didn't have cell phones until 16, no tv's, computers or phones in their rooms and I was the WORST MOTHER in the world! I have a 13 year old and thankfully we aren't there YET but some of her friends are and some peers at her school are having sex already.