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Matthew Buckley is our Positive Psychology Correspondent. He received his bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the State University of New York at Brockport in 2010, and received his master’s degree in Organisational Psychology with a concentration in Conflict Management from the University of New Haven in 2015.His main areas of interest include career counselling, conflict management, emotional intelligence, employee retention, leadership and management, morale and motivation, personnel selection and recruitment, and self-promotion. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice, nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on this website. As you learn to attend to your feelings and validate the information they are giving you, you will start to feel a deeper sense of self-worth and self-esteem.As you learn to trust your inner knowing rather than make others your authority for what is right or wrong for you, you will start to feel more inwardly powerful.When you choose to be kind to yourself and to others and to value yourself for your kindness, you will find yourself feeling very happy with yourself.Think of your feelings and inner knowing as an actual child - your inner child.All that happens when we judge ourselves is we feel badly. By Aug-26: Do I Have To Be Healed To Attract My Beloved?
However, believing we can control others' feelings is an illusion.While it’s great for others to inform you of their admiration for you, it’s important for you to value your own opinion of yourself most.After all, it’s your life and you get to define what success and failure looks like to you because you’re playing a game that’s unique to you, and one in which you generally don’t need to adhere to external standards set by someone else.If your parents also validated their own feelings, perceptions and so on, then you are extremely fortunate, as you likely learned to do this for yourself from their role modeling.However, if your parents did not validate you or themselves, then the chances are that not only do you not know how to do this for yourself, but you don't even know that it is your responsibility to validate yourself.
How To Validate Yourself In order to validate yourself, you need to start to notice two things: Judging yourself is the opposite of validating yourself, and creates much inner pain and insecurity.